OVERBREADTH

Here is a preview of Hillary’s concession speech, to be delivered today at 10pm EST after the record-breaking turnout among those darned “active” voters leads to a surprise victory by Obama:

“Thank you all, thank you.

“Well, we’ve come a long way, but sometimes even the greatest dreams have to come to an end when they’re crushed by hope, honesty and a will to change. It’s ironic that mine ends here, in Pennsylvania where it first began, with a vow that I would strike back at my abusive Methodist father by grinding the entire world beneath the heel of my comfortable shoes.

“I fought hard to win the support of the people since then, telling them whatever the polls said they wanted to hear, regardless of what I would actually do. With a distorted record and the funding of people shady enough to get around those petty little campaign financing laws, I made it all the way to the brink of nomination.

“I scared the American people into compliance with rumors that I was running against a Muslim sleeper agent rather than a Senator. I cast my opponent as unpatriotic, a terrorist and a snob. And throughout, I kept the election not about his actual electability, but about whether he and the party would be electable after I relentlessly and shamelessly trashed them.

“Even the most noble efforts sometimes fail. Some among the American people were not swayed by race-baiting, bribery and media manipulation. Some resisted the ham-handed fear tactics and saw through the lies.

“To them I say, ‘This isn’t over.’ I may be bowing out, but I will continue to tear down the party nominee until he loses, and my self-fulfilling prophecies come true.”

[cackle]

“And to those who I bullied or bribed into sticking by me, even at the expense of their morals or professional integrity, I offer my gratitude. To Governor Rendell, who knows he owes everything to me, Bob Kerrey, who gleefully repeated the Obama-Muslim farce, my dear George Stephanwhateverpolis, loyal to the end, Skeletor, who was always there to share a laugh with me, and my husband, Bill, who did more to keep me in the headlines with scandal than anyone else, thank you.

“And thank you, America. You’ve renewed the feeling that first drove me into politics: Vengeance.

“I’ll see you in four years!”

Tags: Diaries //