Not all Lesbians are lesbian
Earlier today, the people of Lesbos sued a gay group over the use of the term ‘Lesbian.’ (Full story). It seems the men and straight women of Lesbos have an awkward time telling people they’re Lesbian. Come to think of it, the gay women might run into trouble too.
“Tanya, are you lesbian?”
“No, I just moved here with my life partner, Jennifer. Our toddler is Lesbian though.”
According to one of the plaintiffs,
“My sister can’t say she is a Lesbian,” said Dimitris Lambrou. “Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos.”
Dimitris is upset that his sister can’t “come out of the closet” and admit she’s from Lesbos without fear of social reprisals. And it’s all the fault of these gay women, who really don’t know what it’s like to go through something like that. To compound the confusion, the gay kind of lesbians have been choosing the island of Lesbos as a popular vacation spot. According to the AP:
[T]he island of Lesbos is a favored vacation destination for lesbian (i.e. gay) women. The resort town of Eressos, reported to be Sappho’s home town, is especially favored among gay female holiday seekers.
Sapho, you’ll recall, is that ancient Greek from Lesbos who wrote poems that millennia later would be recreated as late night Cinemax movies.
Anyway, the lawsuit promises some girl on girl action. (Get it? Cause, you see, “action,” like civil action… oh never mind.) Still no word on the pending suit by happy people against gays.
6 Responses to “Not all Lesbians are lesbian”
http://mattoflamancha.blogspot.com
In a word, “fantastic.”
Hey now, I similarly take offense to the fact that computer programmers at software companies are called “Indians.” Some of us just aren’t into Java, okay?!
http://www.luros.org
Yes, but it thoroughly confuses the Indonesian employees at HP when one of the female coders says, “yeah, I’m really into Java,” and then the coder asks her out, and is rebuffed.
Well, maybe she’s just really into coffee. Coder boy needs to stop bein’ so concrete and gettin’ her regular expressions mixed up.
http://uniquelysingapore.bloggerunleashed.com
This is hilarious, but gotta admit it can be frustrating for Lesbian women. Just waiting to see how the case unfolds…
Your article raises another modern colloquial trinket that has Merriam-Webster’s collective pantaloons in a twist: What about the term “gay”? Doesn’t “gay” just really mean “happily excited” or “merry”? Which raises two issues:
1) What if you are a homosexual individual and unhappy and/or depressed? Wouldn’t you be ticked off by people calling you “happily excited” or “merry” all the time? Wouldn’t that just make you more unhappy and/or depressed? Lack of gayness is a serious problem that tears apart millions of American families every year. These people are just not gay! And it’s just plain insensitive to continue referring to them as such.
2) What about the people who are only “happily excited” or “merry” (let’s refer to them as happy-only people with a dash to accurately describe this subset and take into account that there are homosexual individuals who are “happily excited” or “merry,” i.e., “gay”) and cannot walk around the world calling themselves gay because it will misidentify them as homosexual? Stripped of a word to accurately describe their emotional state of being! I’m gay dammit! And I just can’t take this anymore!
I think happy-only people and unhappy homosexual individuals also have a lawsuit here. Class action, anyone?
Discussion