Top Ten Clinton Earmarks
Clinton has made no less than $2.3 billion in earmarks for the coming year. That is almost three times the amount of the next guy down, and over nine times that of an average year for Obama. But who cares, when angry black people and the ‘Survivor-esque’ drama of a man betrayed by his pastor, betrying him in kind, is so much more interesting?
With Clinton refusing to do more than “broadly define” what she spent this ridiculous amount of money on, no disclosure from her about what she spent in prior years, and no press attention, we are left only to speculate.
Therefore, I give you the Top Ten Most Suspicious Clinton Earmarks:
10 - $0 on Flag pins. Making your opponent’s similar lack of one, a major talking point against him? Priceless.
9 - $540,000 for graphic designers to create and dispatch Obama Is A Muslim! e-mails
8 - $13 million for roads to nowhere, customary price of admission for a Senate seat.
7 - $26 million to the friends of the FALN Puerto Rican terrorist group, to buy off any Puerto Rican nationalist votes not secured by forcing a pardon on them.
6 - $47 million to World Wide Travel, since their White House travel office business never quite took off despite her best efforts.
5 - $66 million on brain implants that can beam instant poll-based political positions and negative comments into a candidate’s mind.
4 - $103 million for the “Sunny Shires Program,” also known by the Army’s Secret Operations department as ”The ManPig Program.”
3 - $123 million to the “It Takes A Village (of the Damned) Program,” helping to breed ruthless, clean children with no sense of history.
2 - $420 million on Chinese human trafficking to ship in dishwashers and seamtresses for the Triads, because those campaign donations have to come from somewhere!
1 - $1.3 billion on Skeletor’s ‘Fright Fighter,’ keeping our edge against the 3am. threat of Castle Greyskull, as she has for her 35 years (or is it 45?) of public service.
4 Responses to “Top Ten Clinton Earmarks”
http://www.matthewfunk.net/blog
I apologize for the poor formatting. I have edited twice now to fix it, to no avail. I will make further attempts later when time allows.
http://pajamajournalist.com
You can’t see it, but I am nodding my head and grinning.
I sure wish there were some investigative reporters left in the world who would dig into her earmarks, campaign financing and charitable foundation finances, among other things.
Priceless post!
http://overbreadth.com
#4: Manbearpig?
http://www.matthewfunk.net/blog
Q: “#4: Manbearpig?”
A: Soon, my friend. Soon.
Sources inform me that the difficult part is not so much fusing man with pig, or pig with bear, or bear with pig, but creating a creature composed of three halves.
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