Today, we celebrate taxes, one of two certainties for all people, along with death. (That is, unless we’re talking about the legal definition of “person,” which includes corporations who don’t necessarily have to face either.) We celebrate by placing amusing tax-related thumbnails beside this post. We celebrate by employing the royal we for the introductory paragraph. We celebrate, specifically, our system of taxing people who earn money by working for it to a greater extent than those who earn money by having it.

Some local conservative must have missed the memo. Locals, you’re supposed to talk about how much you hate what Obama said. Do you hear me? Damn, to hear you say it, you’re making it sound reasonable. That’s the last thing we at Fox want to do!

The war on irony continues as guards at Guantanamo confiscate a contraband copy of the Lord of the Rings screenplay from a former child soldier who, after six years, is still awaiting trial.

Video footage of Clinton being asked a simple question: Is it a conflict of interest to spend money raised by a group that supports the Columbian trade deal on a campaign against the Columbian trade deal? Her answer? “Hahahaha…”

The youth vote weeps as “Yes Wii Can” Obama turns his back on all that is good and true and right in the console universe.

The right wants to pretend McCain never said what he said or something. Is it fair game to poke fun at an inane statement about a million years in Iraq? (Hint: yes. The answer is yes. That’s the hint.)

Dick Cheney. Magical man of mystery and mayhem. Look carefully at this photograph and see… no that can’t be right.