Things Obama Wishes He Could Say
Columnists at The Politico wrote a long overdue article today on the things Barack Obama could say about Hillary Clinton’s negatives were he not above doing so.
Thrown off his game by the Rev. Jeremiah Wright uproar, Barack Obama’s strongest answer to Hillary Rodham Clinton is one he won’t give: Senator, do you really want to get in a contest with me over who has more unsavory personal associations?
She most assuredly does not, as the article goes on. But she can, because both Obama and the surrogates connected to his campaign won’t touch Hillary’s slime. The only one that came close - Samantha Powers - was dismissed.
Since Obama can’t fire me and someone needs to fire away at Hillary, I am expanding on the article and giving you The Top Ten Things Obama Could Say To Smear Hillary:
10 - “You saw to it that criminals were appointed to the top levels of the Justice Department.”
8 - “You helped Chinese agents illegally funnel money to assist your political ends and you’re still doing it.”
7 - You claim you were active for Martin Luther King Jr., but you are known to have been active in the campaign of the Presidential candidate who opposed the civil rights movement. Which is it?
6 - “Hillirex Fhtagn R’lyeh!” (the words that banish her back to the Nether-realm)
5 - “The Republicans know they can kick your ass, and are totally ignoring you to go after the only real threat - me.”
4 - “Your plan may have changed, but you’re still the same divisive priss when it comes to health care, aren’t you?”
3 - “You voted for and supported the Iraq War … Hello? Is anyone listening? Is this thing even on?”
2 - “Your family secured a deal between a post-Soviet dictatorship and a family friend to mine nuclear materials that could be sold to Syria, Iran and North Korea.”
1 - “You actually are a pansy, you weepy, whiney, twitchy, dodgy, cackly, inept little liar.”
I encourage my readership to add to this not-nearly-comprehensive list.
9 Responses to “Things Obama Wishes He Could Say”
http://pajamajournalist.com
There are so many scandals to chose from!
Push Polling
Flip Flopping
Finger Pointing
Story Telling
Non-Tipping
Bill Skipping
Pork for Contributing
Favors for Contributing
Pardons for Contributing (I see you got that one.)
More later!
http://overbreadth.com
As an exercise, try selecting the first word from any on Deborah’s list and mixing it with the last word to invent a new form of political scandal.
Examples:
Pork Flopping
Story Polling
Flip Contributing
Pardons for Tipping
Finger Flopping
http://pajamajournalist.com
Pardon’s for Porking.
I know it’s cheating, but with Bill around it is more likely than not.
So here is my try:
Push Skipping
Flip Tipping
Story pointing - my personal favorite for what hillary does when she needs to invent a story like Bosnia.
http://overbreadth.com
Bill Flopping - When Bill Clinton tries to help and puts his foot in his mouth.
Flip-Finger Contributing - When Obama scratches his face in such a way the rightwing media can pretend he’s giving Hillary the middle finger.
Favors for Polling - Paying Mark Penn millions of dollars to do internal polling that is completely at odds with reality.
Non-Telling - Refusing to give out information on multimillion-dollar contributors to the Clinton foundation.
http://lots-o-thoughts.blogspot.com/
“Non-Tipping”
Let me just say, “tip-gate” was an awfully ridiculous non-story. When the news networks started hounding the waitress to get her reaction, even she had to step back and say “don’t you guys have better things to do?” Let’s try not to reward that kind of Story Flopping (this is fun!) by treating it as anything other than an embarrassment to American journalism.
http://pajamajournalist.com
I’m sorry Samuel, I have to insist non-tipping stay, as it rhymes with bill skipping.
Seriously.
http://lots-o-thoughts.blogspot.com/
This is what the waitress herself said:
“You people are really nuts. … There’s kids dying in the war, the price of oil right now — there’s better things in this world to be thinking about than … who got a tip and who didn’t get a tip.”
I’m not saying that non-tipping is okay. Of course it’s not. But it seems that campaign coverage zeros in on trivial non-issues and then starts speculating into the candidates’ characters with all sorts of leaps of logic.
Was her campaign pre-occupied because she’s running for President? Maybe, maybe not. Was there confusion because the credit card machine didn’t allow you to add a tip? Maybe, maybe not. Had Hillary herself planned to stiff the waitress so that she could pocket the $40 and add it to her $40 million net worth? Maybe, maybe not. Do I care to dig any deeper to find out what really happened that day in Iowa? No. When you look at the big picture, this really seems to be small potatoes, and that waitress in Iowa understands how crazy this issue was.
http://pajamajournalist.com
Alrighty then, if we must take the moral high ground, I would put it this way.
The nation is facing a potential economic disaster that will require nothing less than financial wizardry. Thus, making both tip-gate and stiff-gate relevant and not so crazy.
Her campaign has a pattern of stiffing small businesses and service people, running in the red and bending or breaking any laws that get in their way. Why would we suppose that a President Hillary would do a better job handling the country’s finances than she has done handling her campaign finances?
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