ABC Donates $31 Million To Clinton
Campaign finance law prevents a campaign from accepting corporate contributions without limitation, but Hillary Clinton again proved that no one holds her accountable for anything as she accepted at least $31,240,000 from ABC.
I refer, of course, to the hour of “straight talk” that ABC will be broadcasting “hours before” Tuesday’s primaries. It’ll be a toasty “town hall” - an “everyman” chat with the voters so that they can find out Hill’s just normal folk like them. And to make sure it’s cozy as possible, ABC’s going to have little Georgie Stephanopoulos as the official fat-chewer.
My trusty research department has crunched the numbers on this. We discovered that the lowest ad rate on ABC was $355,000, for a 30-second spot during Extreme Home Makeover back in ‘05.
Accounting for 16 minutes of commercials, we therefore find that Hillary’s wet-eyed, aw-shucks bull session costs ABC - and their shareholders - a whopping $31,240,000!
This isn’t counting the many minutes of soft-focus screentime that will be spent before and after, hyping the interview and therefore hyping Hillary.
So there we have the numbers. We can put them alongside the Elton John concert and the Chinese dishwashers on our list of incidents when Clinton’s sodomy of our campaign financing system goes virtually undetected thanks to the lubricant of charm, sleaze and influence.
Update (disclaimer): This article is political satire, and so not meant to accuse anyone of an actual crime.
6 Responses to “ABC Donates $31 Million To Clinton”
http://pajamajournalist.com
Lets not forget the Peter Paul fundraiser and the indicted fugitive bundler, Norman Hsu and that other indicted fugitive bundler guy, Abdul Jinnah.
http://mattoflamancha.blogspot.com
With all due respect, I think I’m missing the humor here. To characterize media coverage of a political candidate as a “donation” to that candidate, no matter how biased, is not accurate, not fair, and profoundly not wise.
If we were to start adding up every moment that the commercial media spent airing coverage or images of a candidate, and treating it as (a) for sale at the same rate as ad time and (b) that it was “donated” to the depicted candidate, we’d find NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, F vomit’N C, et al, “donated” a lot more than a few dozen million, to Clinton, Obama, and McCain.
But in any case, it’s illogical to treat all airtime as for sale, or having the same value as ad time. More importantly, it infringes on the freedom of press - and just slightly less so, on the freedom of access to political speech of the watchers and listeners. To try to regulate “coverage” like this is just a bad, dangerously bad, way of thinking.
I hope you’re not serious.
http://overbreadth.com
As the owner of the domain, I’d appreciate a little editing of this piece to clarify that there is no allegation here that ABC is violating election law. I don’t think that’s what you’re getting at, but I’m concerned the piece could be misinterpreted.
http://www.matthewfunk.net/blog
Matt:
It always pleases me when someone quotes Ricky Bobby - “with all due respect.” Many words to live by, come alive in that film.
As for your remarks, I’m not sure I entirely take your meaning. I wasn’t calling for any legal action to be taken against ABC. I was, rather, pointing out that the “Town Hall” is a puff piece that may as well be a political advertisement.
Perhaps George will prove me wrong. I doubt it. I fully expect she’ll simply be given an opportunity to air her views as George prods perfunctorily in the fashion of an infomercial - “Do you /really/ have a solution for Iraq? And for /only/ $19.95?!”
Given that, the satirical element was to describe the ABC show in the manner of a campaign contribution - a free ad. In turn, I stirred the pot a bit and mentioned her other shady contributions.
Oddly enough, Keith Olbermann did a piece similar to mine, only funnier and more extensive, dealing with her “interview” on FOX:
http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/5/2/115219/2226/754/507740
Enjoy - if not his point, then at least his zany diction.
http://pajamajournalist.com
I say we do away with campaign finance laws altogether in favor of a NASCAResque corporate sponsor system. This would not only lift all those pesky limitations but also replace that messy super-delegate thing.
Instead of collecting supers, the candidates would collect logo patches. And as an added bonus, bad fashion choices would be a thing of the past. No more would Obama have to explain the lack of a flag pin and no more would Hillary have to worry which color pantsuit to wear with which chunky rock necklace.
http://mattoflamancha.blogspot.com
The best part of Talladega Nights was Sacha Cohen’s French accent. “Reeke bo-be…” The second best part were the simultaenous cameos of Elvis Costello and Mos Def. The third best part was Bill Clinton. Why Bill Clinton, you say? Because B.J. was the ultimate Nascar dad president DNC.
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