General David Petraeus picked to head up CENTCOM. In other news, we’re all doomed. Doomed.

Today, we celebrate taxes, one of two certainties for all people, along with death. (That is, unless we’re talking about the legal definition of “person,” which includes corporations who don’t necessarily have to face either.) We celebrate by placing amusing tax-related thumbnails beside this post. We celebrate by employing the royal we for the introductory paragraph. We celebrate, specifically, our system of taxing people who earn money by working for it to a greater extent than those who earn money by having it.